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Washington Wants Coalition of Sunni Regimes to Fight Iran. Okay, But Tehran Would Completely Crush Them

The Saudis can't even defeat the poorly-equipped Houthis in Yemen. Good luck fighting a well-trained, well-armed military backed by Moscow

This post first appeared on Russia Insider

We know it's a badly-abused cliché, but we really did laugh out loud after reading that Washington is "working to create a military alliance of Sunni Arab nations" to "counter" Iran.

Close your eyes and imagine NATO. Are you seeing visions of an incompetent, useless dinosaur that can't tell the difference between a wedding party and a terrorist pow-wow? Now clear your mind and imagine a NATO-like coalition with Egypt, Jordan, Saudi Arabia and the United Arab Emirates as members. Imagine that this coalition of medieval failures had one mission, and one mission only: to provoke a war with Iran.

<figcaption>A major Middle East power</figcaption>
A major Middle East power

Typical. Washington has finally realized that Americans have zero interest in starting a war with Iran, despite years of tireless propaganda portraying Tehran as an existential threat to humanity (or Israel, but what's the difference, right?).

They've tried everything — even lobbing accusations that are easily debunked with a simple Google search.

Hey, wait a minute .... maybe our medieval Sunni allies will fight Iran for us? That would be swell. And isn't that what friends are for?

This is true desperation seeping out of Washington's adult diapers.

Iran isn't Syria. It doesn't have to worry about appeasing 1,000 different ethnic and religious groups. It's a proud country with a long history of fighting off foreign parasites.

A Sunni war against Iran would have likely been a disaster even 10 years ago. Today? Suicidal. Russia is now a dependable political and military ally for Tehran, and the idea that Washington will somehow drive a wedge between Moscow and Tehran is ludicrous.

Russia would do everything it could to help Iran fight off Sunni fanatics, for the same reason it was persuaded to intervene in Syria: Because if Washington's "moderates" were to overrun the Middle East, Russia would be next.

Forget the fact that Russian-made S-300s are already deployed in Iran, or that Russia and Iran were able to coordinate a miraculous military campaign to turn the tables in Syria in less than a year — an experience that would be invaluable in the case of a Sunni-led war against Iran. Consider, just for a moment, that Russia has gone so far as to ask Washington to aknowledge Hezbollah as a crucial part of anti-ISIS efforts in Syria. Hezbollah! The very name sends shivers up the crooked spines of every Israel-first blowhard with an American passport.

And people are worried that Moscow will abandon Tehran? For Russia, Iran is a holy grail of business opportunities and security cooperation.

If there's one takeaway from Syria, it's that Washington loves to stir up trouble in countries that can't defend themselves. But when a formidable force such as Russia steps into the ring, the Americans run for the hills (while crying foul, of course).

Even with full support of Washington and Israel (Israel would have to stay in the shadows, to keep up appearances), Saudi Arabia, Qatar, and the UAE would get a Russian-backed Persian beating that they would never forget. 

The icing on the cake would be that this "anti-Iran" bloc would include some of the most autocratic states on earth — anti-women, anti-democratic, anti-everything — and it would be a true joy to watch Washington claim that Saudi Arabia and Qatar were fighting Iran to protect democracy in the Middle East.

Of course, we're probably getting ahead of ourselves. Following NATO's model, the coalition of medieval head-choppers would first surround Iran with defensive military bases. And then the provocations and (more) sanctions would begin.

It won't work.

Iran isn't Iraq. It isn't Libya. And it isn't Syria. And it already has the full backing of Russia.

If Washington were smart, it would take note.

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