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2017: The Year American Diplomacy Curled up and Died

American diplomacy: It was always very sad. Now it is dead. And likely for a very long time.

This post first appeared on Russia Insider


Diplomacy. Common courtesy. Not being an insufferable jerk-off: call it whatever you want.

But America no longer has it:

<figcaption>Lindsey Graham also volunteered to spearhead the march on Moscow. Good luck, Senator!</figcaption>
Lindsey Graham also volunteered to spearhead the march on Moscow. Good luck, Senator!

Declaring 2017 to be “a year of kicking Russia in the ass,” Sen. Lindsey Graham (R – SC) is pushing for a new series of anti-Russia measures in Congress, saying he expects to push President Trump to take a tougher stance against Russia with new sanctions.

To be fair, international relations based on mutual respect and goodwill has never really been America's strong suit. (We are very good at dropping Agent Orange on rice farmers and handing out smallpox blankets to friendly natives, though. Also: baseball.)

Like the murder investigation of Seth Rich, American diplomacy was always a bit of  a joke. If you will allow us to extend our metaphor, Lindsey Graham was just the kindly old Metropolitan Police captain who declared Seth's murder a botched robbery; Lindsey's the only man brave and corrupt enough to make our upside down garbage world official. And thank goodness he did.

So just to drive the point home: We don't blame you specifically, Mr. Lindsey. The untimely death of American diplomacy was like a game of hot potato. Eventually the music stops and some idiot senator is holding the charred remains of a sane foreign policy. It just happened to be Lindsey Graham. But it could have easily been John McCain, or a viral Hillary Clinton tweet. And what difference does it make?

Actually, Graham's eloquent "year of kicking Russia in the ass" is just a repeat of what he said earlier this month.

John McCain and Lindsey Graham spent their winter holidays touring countries on Russia's doorstep which neocons have long billed as potential flashpoints — Georgia, the Baltic states, and Ukraine.

In Ukraine, McCain and Graham actually visited Kiev's front line troops and spent the night with them. They both gave rousing speeches about how fun it will be to die for no reason.

Here's what Graham burped up:

"I admire the fact that you will fight for your homeland."

"Your fight is our fight, 2017 will be the year of offense."

"All of us will go back to Washington and we will push the case against Russia. Enough of a Russian aggression. It is time for them to pay a heavier price."

So just to recap: 2017 will be the year Lindsey Graham "kicks Russia in the ass" with poorly-equipped, demoralized Ukrainian troops.

War with Russia is a good idea, right?

Of course. Because Lindsey Graham just put two bullets into the shriveled back of American diplomacy. And make sure to put an extra bullet in its noodle, Graham. We wouldn't want a miraculous recovery, would we?

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