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Second Russo-Japanese War Inevitable After Putin Refuses Free Puppy

Putin insults entire Japanese nation after refusing the gift of a puppy. Is this how Russia treats its so-called international partners?

This post first appeared on Russia Insider

Our friends at SkyNews report that Putin has "snubbed" Japan by declining the gift of a puppy before a scheduled summit with Prime Minister Shinzo Abe.

Connoisseurs of Japanese culture and tradition will know that graciously accepting free puppies is an important sign of respect in Japan, and refusing such a gift brings eternal shame to your entire family and ancient ancestors.

<figcaption>Practicing Judo neck holds on friendly dogs. Typical for a monster like Putin.</figcaption>
Practicing Judo neck holds on friendly dogs. Typical for a monster like Putin.

In 2012, Putin was wise enough to accept a female puppy, Yume, from Japan. What has changed in the last four years? Has Putin's grand ambitions for world domination gone straight to his head? This is the only logical explanation, because any normal person would eagerly accept a free puppy. Especially someone like Putin, who has a lot of free time to train small dogs to poop outside and not behind the couch, etc. etc.

Experts now say that the only way to avoid a major international conflict between Russia and Japan is for Putin to commit seppuku. See? This is why Russia is so isolated:

The Japanese government had planned to present Mr Putin, widely known to be a canine lover, with a male Akita as a "bridegroom" to Yume, a female of the same breed that Japan gave the Russian leader in 2012.

But a Japanese legislator said Russia had turned down the offer.

"Unfortunately, we heard from our counterparts, and our hope to present a bridegroom was dashed," House of Representatives member Koichi Hagiuda said in a blog post on Friday.

He did not give a reason for the rejection.

The reason is obvious: Russia has no respect for diplomatic protocol. All it wants is war, war, and more war.

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