Donald Trump is the model American rich guy: Despite being a terrible businessman — his fortune came from his daddy; his own businesses rack up billions in debt and have repeatedly filed for bankruptcy — he continues to stay "on top" by saturating himself in shameless media gimmicks and building golf courses in Scotland that nobody likes. He is also a top Google Images search result for "toupée" — so that has to be worth a few million at least, right?
Anyway, this clown is now officially running for president. His platform: Preparing America for nuclear war with Russia...we think? It's not exactly clear.
Donald Trump: Certainly not the president America needs — but absolutely the president America deserves! Here he is, in all of his glory: