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Unnamed US Official: Thousands of Orphans Dead After Russian Missiles 'Fell in Iran'

Unnamed U.S. officials never lie


This post first appeared on Russia Insider


Thousands of orphans, and at least 5 puppies, are presumed dead after Russian missiles launched from the Caspian Sea missed their targets inside Syria.

The missiles, carrying radioactive cluster munitions that have been outlawed by all civilized nations, landed on an Iranian kindergarten for disabled orphans, according to reliable, anonymous U.S. officials

<figcaption>This cruise missile destroyed a Taco Bell full of pregnant Iranian women, according to unnamed US officials</figcaption>
This cruise missile destroyed a Taco Bell full of pregnant Iranian women, according to unnamed US officials

But Moscow and Tehran, both in total self-delusional denial, vehemently deny the accusations. Russian Defense Ministry spokesman Gen. Igor Konashenkov said that "any professional knows that during these operations we always fix the target before and after impact. All our cruise missiles hit their target."

Spoken like someone who just murdered 1,000 disabled orphans, and all of their puppies. 

Admit to your crime, Russia. 

 


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