Ukraine Wants to Be the 51st US State

This article originally appeared in Allgemeine Morgenpost Rundschau. Translated from German by Werner Schrimpf

After the installation of a US-orchestrated and controlled puppet regime in Kiev the next logical step was announced today. The Ukrainian government filed an application for admission into the US as federal state No. 51.

One motivation for this step was the problem that many American citizens who are to pose as Ukraine's new government have refused to accept Ukrainian citizenship.

Ukraine does not allow any form of dual citizenship and people possessing two passports can be severely fined by the Ukrainan authorities.

"So we have considered the matter very carefully and now we are able to kill two birds with one stone. The Russian aggressor will now think twice if he really is willing to attack U.S. territory “ a government spokesperson  explained.

Our top man, Petro Poroschenko, will be appointed the first governor of the newly created federal state. Yatsenyuk, Tyahnybok, Yarosh and Lyashko will be elected as the new representatives of Ukraine to the US Congress.

Georgia and Puerto Rico protested against this decision due to their own ambitions to become the 51st U.S. federal state.

As the reader may recall, the Georgian statehood application was rejected on techincal grounds because a US state called ‘Georgia’ already exists. 

One possible solution, the unification of these two states of ‘Georgia’, was rejected by the Georgian people because they are keen to remain a sovereign country with total independence. And ‘Alabama’ as the new capital city of a unified Georgia did not attract interest – although the famous band ‘Lynyrd Skynyrd’ offered in a wonderful gesture to change the name of their famous song ‘Sweet Home Alabama’ to ‘Sweet Home Tbilisi’.

Since its annexation in 1898 Puerto Rico has been trying to become a full member state of the U.S. and to get rid of its status as a plain U.S. colony. Puerto Ricans envision themselves as the number one candidates for becoming the next US federal state and are cheesed now with the new competitors arising from Eastern Europe. 

But just now we've received a surprising statement from Washington:

"For the time being the US does not intend to annex any further underdeveloped and stunted regions. This would just cost a huge pile of money and the U.S. would be hampered in exploiting these areas and people in a productive manner. For the U.S. economy it could be fatal if these new colonies were to sue the U.S. homeland for not granting them the current minimum wage."

Bearing this in mind, the Ukraine will most likely remain in the status of a plain U.S. colony….