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Tillerson Plans to Skip NATO Meeting, Visit Russia; Media Threatens Mass Suicide

Media prepares to drink cyanide juice after reports emerge that U.S. Secretary of State might skip NATO meeting and visit Moscow in April

This post first appeared on Russia Insider

Our friends at Reuters are moments away from sucking on a tailpipe.

Why the gloomy mood? Because U.S. Secretary of State Rex Tillerson "plans to skip an April 5-6 meeting of NATO foreign ministers for a U.S. visit by the Chinese president and will travel to Russia later in the month, U.S. officials said on Monday, a step allies may see as putting Moscow's concerns ahead of theirs."

<figcaption>Don't pull the plug, Reuters. You have so much more lying to do before you return home to Satan</figcaption>
Don't pull the plug, Reuters. You have so much more lying to do before you return home to Satan

Sweet, heavenly mercy. This story is even more terrifying because it is based on rumors from "four current and former [anonymous] U.S. officials." Since it is a Reuters report based on anonymous U.S. sources, we imagine that Tillerson is actually skipping the April NATO summit so he can visit his dentist.

But take a moment and read the fear and hysteria in this "straight" news report:

The decisions to skip the NATO meeting and to visit Moscow risked feeding a perception that Trump may be putting U.S. dealings with big powers before those of smaller nations that depend on Washington for their security, said two former U.S. officials.

Trump has often praised Russian President Vladimir Putin, and Tillerson worked with Russia's government for years as a top executive at Exxon Mobil, and has questioned the wisdom of sanctions against Russia that he said could harm U.S. businesses.

State Department spokesman Mark Toner had no immediate comment on whether Tillerson would skip the NATO meeting or visit Russia. Two U.S. officials said Tillerson planned to visit Moscow on April 12.

"It feeds this narrative that somehow the Trump administration is playing footsy with Russia," said one former U.S. official who spoke on condition of anonymity.

"You don't want to do your early business with the world's great autocrats. You want to start with the great democracies, and NATO is the security instrument of the transatlantic group of great democracies," he added.

Footsy? Did Reuters interview a "former U.S. official", or a third-grader? (Maybe both?)

As usual, our favorite wire service saved the best for last:

Any visit to Russia by a senior Trump administration official will be carefully scrutinized after the director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation on Monday publicly confirmed his agency was investigating any collusion between the Russian government and Trump's 2016 presidential election campaign.

Rex Tillerson is Secretary of State. It's his job to fly to foreign countries and speak to foreign leader. What exactly is there to "scrutinize" here? 

Don't stick your head in an oven yet, Reuters. You have so much more lying to do. 

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