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Russian Journo Eats Enormous Fist Sandwich While Reporting on Most Dangerous Day in Russia

Real Russian aggression! Another attack against journalists in Putin's Russia! 

This post first appeared on Russia Insider

For one day of the year, Russia becomes more dangerous than Mosul, more dangerous than Idlib province—even more dangerous than Detroit. We are of course referring to August 2, "Paratrooper Day".

As Russian Beyond the Headlines very diplomatically puts it:

<figcaption>Paratrooper Day, aka "board up your windows and hide in the basement day"</figcaption>
Paratrooper Day, aka "board up your windows and hide in the basement day"

Each year, current and former paratroopers celebrate by meeting up and wandering the city streets and parks. Paratroopers and anyone else brave enough - often in an inebriated state - frolic in Moscow’s fountains and pick fights with unfortunate passers-by. Some fountains are turned off in a number of Russian cities to stop the madness.

If you reside in Russia, do not go outside on August 2. Board up your windows. Go to the nearest Soviet-era arms depot and acquire the nearest Kalashnikov. And then wait for the terror to end (August 3). 

This poor reporter decided he would risk it. Big mistake:

Apparently this drunken idiot wasn't/isn't even a paratrooper. See? It's a war zone out there. 

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