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Pathetic Old Fart Calls for Terror Alliance Against Russia and the West

Elderly Al-Qaeda villain makes desperate plea to his 'brothers' so they can all die on the same team

He's back! 

According to a report from Reuters, rapidly-aging cave dweller Ayman al-Zawahri has resurfaced in a new audio clip urging all of his 'brothers' to band together and confront the new Russia-led crusade against ISIS. Zawahri, for any not in the know, has been running the Al-Qaeda umbrella organization for the last few years, having been promoted from the number two position after a US Navy Seal shot his boss in face with a machine gun.

'The Americans, Russians Iranians, Alawites, and Hezbollah are coordinating their war against us - are we we not capable of stopping the fighting amongst ourselves so we can direct all our efforts against them?' Zawahri asked.

Probably not. 

The call seems to be some kind of olive branch to ISIS - those ones that got away, so to speak. And while it wouldn't be helpful to Russia's mission to see the two sides unite, it wouldn't be a game changer in the conflict. It's simply too late. Jabhat an-Nusrah (Al-Qae'da's franchise in Syria), is holed up behind the various rebel groups in the northwest of the country, whereas ISIS is more centrally located on the other side of the rebels. There just isn't much for them to do in a cooperative effort, especially with bombs galore falling on top of them day and night.

However, it would not be at all surprising to see a post in the coming days from either or both of the dark twins about letting bygones be bygones and uniting against the evil Christian Crusaders, but that's all it will be. ISIS' sun is quickly setting in Syria, and there is little to nothing that can be done to reverse that by a faint call from a decrepit, has-been murderer of the innocent, who mostly busies himself with running for his life in the mountains of Afghanistan and Pakistan.

If the grandfather of global terror could have swallowed a little pride and made this call around a year ago, the two sides may very well have taken Damascus and Assad would be a guest in Russia today, and not the other way around. But alas, the old man's ego got the better of him. Pride goeth before the fall as they say. 

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