Support Russia Insider - Go Ad-Free!

Nikki Haley Wants Everyone to Know That She Finally Learned How to Read

Nikki Haley is hooked on phonics - and bombing Iran

This post first appeared on Russia Insider

Nikki Haley is widely considered to be the greatest diplomat to have ever lived. But did you know that up until just a few days ago, Nikki Haley didn't even know how to read? 

Washington's rookie UN ambassador to the United Nations has been checkmating Russia for months, but last week she finally found the time to finish her first children's story, The Scorpion and the Frog, which tells the tale of two animal companions who are drone-bombed by the US military while attending a wedding in Afghanistan. 

<figcaption>Haley presents book report to UN Security Council</figcaption>
Haley presents book report to UN Security Council

As you can probably imagine, Nikki is very proud of her accomplishment and wants to let everyone know that she read a story about animals and really, really enjoyed it. 

But recently she's been yapping about frogs and scorpions at totally inappropriate times.

Everything now reminds her of her favorite US-vaporized frog and scorpion. The chicken tendies that she ate last night? "This reminds me of the story of the frog and the scorpion..."

Nikki Haley literally can't stop talking about this dumb pop-up book that she read. 

Even when she recites her daily prayers to Moloch at the Security Council, frog tales inevitable get added into the mix:


But as RT pointed out: "While the allusion might seem novel, it was actually used before in an op-ed by Chaim Shacham for the Miami Herald in 2015, titled ‘Iran nuclear pact: Tale of the scorpion and the frog.’"

So Haley plagiarized her dumb metaphor—and she still can't read.

That'll do, Nikki. That'll do. 


Support Russia Insider - Go Ad-Free!

This post first appeared on Russia Insider

Anyone is free to republish, copy, and redistribute the text in this content (but not the images or videos) in any medium or format, with the right to remix, transform, and build upon it, even commercially, as long as they provide a backlink and credit to Russia Insider. It is not necessary to notify Russia Insider. Licensed Creative Commons

Our commenting rules: You can say pretty much anything except the F word. If you are abusive, obscene, or a paid troll, we will ban you. Full statement from the Editor, Charles Bausman.