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Millions of Television Viewers Drink Bleach After Nikki Haley Opens Her Mouth Again

The hick from hell is now making up fake statements made by Russia's UN representative

This post first appeared on Russia Insider

Waffle House waitress-turned-UN-representative Nikki Haley is the brightest rising star in international diplomacy.

Haley gave a memorable performance on CNN on Thursday, during which she decided to make up fake stuff that Russia never said about the humanitarian situation in Syria

<figcaption>Waffle House Warrior</figcaption>
Waffle House Warrior

Speaking about a recent United Nations 'report' about humanitarian efforts in Syria, Haley evoked images of starving people — and of course, evil Russians:

There are people dying by the day because they’re not getting humanitarian aid they need because the Assad regime is keeping it out and not allowing it to get in. Now, today the Russians basically said, ‘Look, the reason this is happening is because they need all that medical care for the military.’

Nope! Total and complete bullshit. Petr Iliichev, Russia's Acting Permanent Representative to the UN, never said anything close to that.

He actually made the exact opposite claim: That 'moderate' rebels had been caught hoarding medical supplies in Aleppo:

We are disappointed that once again in the report there is no data on the plot found in eastern Aleppo after its liberation where warehouses with medications were used to maintain the fighting ability of terrorists. We demanded an investigation and identification of all the circumstances. We are waiting for the results not for the first month. They must be reported to the Security Council in an official manner. By the way, similar warehouses with medicines were discovered even when Zabadani and Madai were liberated from the militants.

Too many words. Too confusing for Nikki Haley. Must make waffles. Serve the waffles. Make people happy. 

Let's listen to the rest of her CNN garble:

Well, the military doesn’t need baby formula. The military doesn’t need diapers. The military doesn’t need dialysis treatment. That is what they’re keeping from the people who are in need. So what you’ve got is a regime who’s saying you either bow down to us, or we’re going to starve you to death.

What? So Assad is starving his people by not giving them diapers?

And as always, the best for last:

And Russia is allowing this to happen. And there was a report released today about how awful the humanitarian issue was, and Russia then criticized the report. But at the end of the day, the international community needs to put all eyes on Russia — all the pressure on Russia. Because every day that people die in Syria, it’s all on Russia’s hands.

Who writes these statements for Haley? The Daily Mail?

Here's her amazingly substance-free Security Council 'speech', in full:

After Haley was done spewing bile at the Security Council, Russia requested the final word:

In connection with your statement, I would again like to draw your attention to the fact that Russia (this was stressed by many speakers in today's hall), Turkey and Iran are doing their part to ensure the observance of the cessation of hostilities regime, which is the best way to ensure the improvement of the humanitarian situation in Syria . Neither of you nor your Western colleagues have heard a single word about what you are doing to ease the situation, how you influence the moderate or excessive opposition controlled by you. Although the report of Mr. S. O'Brien directly referred to those areas that are surrounded and besieged by terrorists.

Nikki Haley: Get thee to the nearest Waffle House. And stay there this time. Think of the children without diapers. 

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