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An Ode to John McCain

A comedy of errors

This post first appeared on Russia Insider

You know the public's hatred of a particularly egregious public figure has reached white-hot intensity when citizen-bards start ridiculing him in verse.  John McCain has achieved the nation's highest honor.  This bit of doggerel provides a surprisingly precise mini-biography of this miserable, blood-stained, murderous old man.

There once was a cadet named John McCain,

And his passing grades he did barely maintain


For rules of safe flying he showed great disdain,

Once clipping power lines, causing blackouts in Spain


As a young Navy pilot, he flew against the grain,

His reckless flying cost taxpayers, many a plane


His "hot dogging" urges could not be contained,

When he blew up his own ship, 130 were slain


Transferred off the ship, to his mates he was a bane,

Because daddy was an Admiral, no one dared to arraign

He was shot down in Nam, over enemy terrain,

Angry villagers then beat him, until their fury did wane


In exchange for good treatment, Johnny would explain,

All the military secrets that his small mind did contain


In spite of good treatment, he could not stay sane,

And years of captivity did damage his brain


The stress of the times caused such mental pain,

By the end of the war, snow white was his mane


Upon his return the scoundrel would feign,

"I was tortured in Nam", again and again


To gain public sympathy, he limped with a cane

But he had no leg injury, he was pulling our chain


He flushed his loyal wife right down the drain,

And married an heiress, with much more to gain


From a career in politics he could not abstain,

He ran for Senate, a seat he'd obtain


"I'm a war hero", was his familiar refrain,

But soon his record would reveal quite a stain


The Keating 5 scandal nearly ended his reign,

But the media darling recovered, growing ever more vain


When POW families expressed him their pain,

Their pleas, the cruel bastard, would not entertain


He's a RINO Republican, like Collins of Maine,

Bashing the Right, and helping liberals to gain


His infamous tantrums are often profane,

Curse words and F-bombs flow from him like rain


"Don't deport aliens!" he does complain,

Wide open the border must always remain


In 2008 he played a Straw Man campaign,

Handing Obama the White House, with hardly a strain


"Bomb Bomb Iran!" is his comic refrain,

In the pocket of Israel is traitor McCain


CIA coups are his political domain,

Financed in part with cash from cocaine


He encourages terrorists, from Qatar and Bahrain,

To murder Syrian children, with thugs we did train


In defiance of Putin he arrived in Ukraine,

Preaching death and revolution, he's clearly insane


His warmongering rants have become so mundane,

Babbling like a drunkard, smashed on champagne


"War! War! War!" goes his mantra so inane,

This psycho should be fitted, with straight jacket & chain


If America the Doomed is like a runaway train,

In the engine next to Obama, sits Johnny McCain


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