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Why Russian Women Prefer Foreign Men

There are a multitude of factors that draw Russian women and foreign men together

This post first appeared on Russia Insider

Americans, Germans and Italians are the men Russian women are most fond of. Many women think about a marriage abroad due to the difficult social and demographical situation in their motherland. Besides, in Russia a woman of 30 – 50 years does not meet the criteria for marriage, as experts note. For foreign men, however, this is no problem at all.

According to a survey by VTsIOM (Russian Public Opinion Research Center), conducted on Russia Day (national holiday of the Russian Federation), the 12th of June, 62% of the respondents see no contradiction between being patriotic and marrying a foreigner. The love of Russia should not stand in the way of the joy of family life abroad, they conclude.

“I’ve moved with my daughter and my Russian spouse to Germany when I was 37 years old”, tells us Arina, a Russian, who wants her real name kept secret. “My husband was a musician and wanted to advance in his career. After a few years we settled down in Berlin and were able to speak German very well. We split up because my husband was on tour all the time. I’ve decided to stay in Germany for the sake of my daughter”.

Arina made acquaintance to German men via dating services in the Internet, however, without success. “The men I’ve met have been usually older, than they mentioned in their profile. They were looking for a wife for housework only rather than for a romantic relationship”, says Arina. “So I’ve started to study and approved my Russian degree in Germany. This is something I also mentioned in my profile. The interest of German men thereby drastically decreased. I received messages only once or twice per day, when earlier there have been 10 – 15 letters. However, there I’ve encountered my future husband. On our first date he brought me a huge bouquet of roses. We’re living together in his big house already for a couple of years. I didn’t manage to find a regular job, that’s why I’m doing the housework. My spouse works at a legal aid office and covers all costs for the housework. Besides, my daughter and I receive a monthly allowance from him”.

At the same time women, who set up their family abroad, don’t necessarily leave Russia forever. Some return after a few years and bring back their entire family, like it happened in the case of Maria from Nizhniy Novgorod.

“I’ve made acquataince with my future husband on a trip to Greece. I’ve been 30 years old back then, he was 37”, recalls Maria. “We stayed in touch via the Internet and decided to set up a family. I quit my job and moved to my love to Greece. There I gave birth to a child from him. Greek men are incredibly devoted fathers. He helped me with everything. In Greece housework is split up equally among both spouses. However, in 2008 due to the financial crisis my husband lost his job and finding a new job was hopeless. So we’ve decided to move to Russia. Today the both of us live and work in Russia and we spend our holidays in Greece. One should not marry a foreigner, but someone you love, because this way it’s irrelevant where you live”.

Due to shortage of translation staff we’ve made a translation of the remaining part of the article via Google Translate. We apologize for the inconvenience.

Subtleties of choice

Analysts of international marriage agency “Love Mage” came to the conclusion, that Americans are the most desirable husbands for Russians, German are second on the popularity chart and Italians – third. Foreigners, who seek marriage with a Russian woman, usually place some value at their potential mate’s foreign language skills, at the ability to maintain a good mood even in difficult situations and at their neatness and attentiveness.

According to the agency, in the mid 1990’s there has been a huge trend abroad for looking for Russian wives, after the USSR has fallen apart and the so-called “Iron Curtain” has been lifted. 2004 the trend has, however, decreased significantly – experts suggest here a connection with the economic recovery and the increased prosperity of the Russian population.

One can encounter his future foreign husband on holidays or, depending on the profession, at work. The most common and easiest way is the Internet through social networks, forums and dating services. Some women use the services of professional dating agencies.

Svetlana Chudyakova, the head of the international marriage agency “Svetlana”, reported, that 90% of their clients are women from Russia and men from Europe: “Women, who want to marry a foreigner, usually have a college degree, a job and are materially secured. They are between 30 and 50 years old. In Russia they are considered old and have little chance of finding a husband. In Europe, however, with 30 you just start to think about setting up family”.

According to the experience of Alla Lukitsheva, a lawyer from the Moscow city college of attorneys “Soglassiye”, who specializes on international law, Russians rarely seek legal advice at a marriage with a foreigner. Before marriage they are just in love and not interested in practical issues. A marriage contract or the clarification of possible debts of their future spouse are therefore most completely ignored. This lack of preparedness often leads to problems later.

“Women, that marry, for example, an Egyptian, Algerian, Iranian or Syrian, normally may not take their child to Russia in case of divorce. This is impossible due to the local laws. And those, that choose a Europeans or Americans as life partners, usually forget to check, whether he has criminal records, whether he is loaded with a large loan or how his financial situation looks like. Some women are then surprised with court summons to use a large portion of their own income to repay her new husband’s loan”, says the lawyer.

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