Russia Insider responds to damning allegations
This post first appeared on Russia Insider
Yesterday a small website, "Bolshevik Death Squad News", published "fresh allegations of fraud" leveled against your own Russia Insider.
You can read the report by Bolshevik Death Squad News here.
Most of the "fresh fraud" has apparently been committed by me, the managing editor of your favorite internet destination. So I thought it would be prudent to respond.
Yes, it's true: I wrote for a satirical liberal blog when I was 22, thus proving that Russia Insider is only pretending to be savagely critical of mainstream narratives about Russia and current events; In actuality, Russia Insider is a hotbed of NATO-bootlicking debauchery. Just look at our website. Your eyes aren't lying to you.
It's also true that Russia Insider uses "pen names", which is unheard of on the internet.
According to Bolshevik Death Squad News, we use pen names in a sneaky, liberal degenerate attempt to mislead our readers into believing we have more writers than we really do. This is why our "pen name" accounts don't have photographs or bios — because Russia Insider is trying to trick you into thinking they are real people. Confused? Don't be: It's Bolshevik logic.
Finally, and this charge I definitely must confess to: I am a secret Zionist/homosexual agent who is helping to undermine peace and stability in the Middle East.
You heard it here first.
For the record: I also work part-time as a Moscow correspondent for a news network owned by the Iranian government, but that's just part of my sneaky Zionist Agent cover.
I think it's fair to say that these allegations of "fresh fraud" speak for themselves — but who enlisted the Bolshies to go after me, and your favorite website?
As every student of history will confirm, death squads almost always rely upon kindly souls with ulterior motives to point them to the target of their next death squad volley.
In our case, Bolshevik Death Squad News was (once again) tipped off by "The Larry", which is an internet blog owned by Larry, an important media personality.
And so Comrade E-Beria, the editor-in-chief of Bolshevik Death Squad News (BDSN), set to work.
For whatever strange reason, Comrade E-Beria reached out to Russia Insider's deputy editor in search of hot scoops about your very own Zionist front, Russia Insider:
As you can see, this appeal for hot scoops is dated March 11.
This means that after at least three weeks of intensive investigation, "The Larry" and its Bolshevik death squad were able to uncover that I wrote for a goofy DC-based internet blog seven years ago. Also: Russia Insider uses pen names.
What could this mean?
"Fresh allegations of fraud," reports Bolshevik Death Squad News.
A few closing thoughts.
Dear Larry (and company):
Is enlisting Bolshevik weirdos to character assassinate a 29-year-old who edits a website really a good investment of your time and energy — even if he is a Zionist agent?
Probably not.
Sincerely,
Riley
This post first appeared on Russia Insider
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