Putin is the projected winner of the first, second, third and fourth rounds of France's presidential race
MOSCOW — Several high ranking FSB officials have confirmed to Russia Insider that President Vladimir Putin has triumphed in the first round of France's presidential race, and is projected to win the second, third, fourth and fifth rounds as well.
According to reports, midday turnout for the first round has been less than 30 percent, most likely because French people already know that Putin has successfully hacked their democracy forever.
In a brief statement given at the Kremlin, Putin said he was honored to serve as France's next president and looked forward to annexing all their baguettes.
Anyone is free to republish, copy, and redistribute the text in this content (but not the images or videos) in any medium or format, with the right to remix, transform, and build upon it, even commercially, as long as they provide a backlink and credit to Russia Insider. It is not necessary to notify Russia Insider. Licensed Creative Commons.