Support Russia Insider - Go Ad-Free!

75 Percent of Americans Mistakenly Believe Russia, Not Diabetes, Will Probably Kill Them

75 percent of Americans now describe Russia as a "serious threat". Time for more military spending? Yes, that will cure our heart disease epidemic.

This post first appeared on Russia Insider

This is nice:

Americans today are more likely to see Russia as a threat than at any time since the end of the Cold War, according to a new CNN/ORC poll released Monday.

<figcaption>Say no to drugs, say yes to tacos. But also say no to tacos. You're fat.</figcaption>
Say no to drugs, say yes to tacos. But also say no to tacos. You're fat.

Seventy-five percent now rate Russia as either a “very serious” or “moderately serious” threat. The last time Americans were as wary came in November 1985, when Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev was preaching glasnost.

Your humble Moscow correspondent is an American, so he is an authority on what poses actual serious threats to Americans. He has seen the threats firsthand.

Wrong-condo, no-knock police raids; hamburgers; a general lack of interest in moving arms and legs; too much peanut butter; irresponsible enemas; boring, normal things like old age — these are the real, serious threats to Americans.

We know it's not very exciting — and it certainly doesn't help boost military spending. But facts are facts.

Seriously, America. You are surrounded by massive oceans and two mostly harmless (we can't vouch for Canada) countries.

Learn to relax. It will help with your heart problems.

Support Russia Insider - Go Ad-Free!

This post first appeared on Russia Insider

Anyone is free to republish, copy, and redistribute the text in this content (but not the images or videos) in any medium or format, with the right to remix, transform, and build upon it, even commercially, as long as they provide a backlink and credit to Russia Insider. It is not necessary to notify Russia Insider. Licensed Creative Commons

Our commenting rules: You can say pretty much anything except the F word. If you are abusive, obscene, or a paid troll, we will ban you. Full statement from the Editor, Charles Bausman.