NATO says unprecedented number of Russian warplanes are terrorizing international airspace
Los Angeles, San Francisco and New York recently experienced unusual blackouts of the electrical variety, according to naive media reports.
The most likely cause of this catastrophe? Thousands of Russian warplanes blocking out the sun's life-giving rays and probably also frying America's electrical grid with Russian electromagnetic pulses.
Look up. Look down. Look behind you. Yes, what you're looking at is a Sukhoi Su-35.
As our friends at the Independent report:
More Nato fighter jets are being scrambled to monitor and intercept Russian planes than at any time since the end of the Cold War as tensions continue to rise.
Around 780 deployments were made from European military bases last year in response to Russian aircraft, compared to just 410 in 2015.
For readers who haven't already died of heart attacks, the Independent clarifies:
Russian planes are not known to have violated international regulations or entered any EU nation’s sovereign airspace, flying instead into “identification zones” in international airspace that are monitored for security.
So is this a terrifying case of unprecedented hordes of Russian warplanes zooming around — or NATO members pooping their adult diapers?
We all know the answer. But Google News clearly doesn't:
The devious Russians are even terrorizing international airspace near Canada. Canada! Home of the friendly moose — and poutine!
Isn't 2017 special?
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