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CNN Jumps the Shark: Network Prioritizes Oscars Red Carpet Over News

The State Department better get to work earmarking Americans' tax dollars to counter that 'Russian propaganda' because clearly it is RT's fault that CNN is losing ratings

In a daring move that came as surprise to exactly no one, CNN took a hiatus from reporting their CIA briefs to bring the American public breaking developments live from the Oscars red carpet. Pro-tip: Maybe John Kerry wouldn't need to ask for Congressional funds to counter scary, scary RT if cable news anchors weren't asked to spend their work hours schmoozing with overpaid entertainers. Just a thought.

Since CNN does such a pathetic job of keeping Americans informed about what is actually happening in the world, perhaps this could be a new purpose for the ratings-challenged network.

<figcaption>You stay classy, CNN</figcaption>
You stay classy, CNN

Generally, I don’t watch CNN unless I feel like gouging my eyes out with a spoon, but I decided to rubberneck the network’s Oscars broadcast. However amusing as it was to watch anchor Don Lemon’s discomfort as he tried to pretend he wasn’t hating every minute of this assignment, a few thoughts struck me.

The first thought was that CNN was covering the arrival of celebrities at a trumped-up awards show because it is losing viewers and, therefore, ad revenue, and was desperately trying to cull some viewers from E!, which despite showing the Kardashians 24/7, is actually meant to be an entertainment channel. Thus are the trials of the for-profit news industry.  Lemon asserts that CNN’s presence was vital to address the #OscarsSoWhite controversy. Also? Ratings. A little bit of coverage here and there is, of course, totally understandable. A couple hours of celebrities swanning in Marchesa gowns is really a bit excessive.

With E!, social media, and the internet, I don’t see why anyone would need to turn to CNN for red carpet coverage. If I want to know who wore what to the Oscars, I will watch Fashion Police the next day. Like normal people.

My second thought was that their coverage showed exactly how out of touch with the rest of the world this makes the average American appear. The CNN Oscars coverage was not solely a domestic broadcast. It was kind of like that scene in The Hunger Games where all of the The Capitol citizens are dressed to the nines in outlandish fashion and bizarre hair colors, while people in District 11 are living in a giant penal colony.

The odds of CNN being taken seriously anymore are not in their favor

The third that struck me was I wondered what actual news news was going unreported while we heard about two actresses wearing almost the same dress in OMG THE SAME COLOR.

So, what is actually going on the world?

Let’s see:

After CNN wastes its time brown-nosing with multi-millionaires, the Secretary of State wants tax dollars to bail out networks like this one. RT actually called CNN out in 2014 for covering the Oscars and ignoring American drone strikes that killed 10 people during that year's Oscars. 

That about sums it up.

At least Leo finally won something.

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