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Maduro Launches Massive Military Drills - Won't Go Down Without a War

I was worried that Maduro would roll over and die without a fight.

But would a man who is about to surrender launch the largest military drill in Venezuela’s history?


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Venezuelan leader Nicolas Maduro has launched what he described as the ‘most important’ drills in history, preparing to repel any potential invasion after the US and its allies backed self-proclaimed ‘interim president’ Guaido.

The drills will last until February 15 and are set to become the largest military exercises the country has held in its 200-year history, President Maduro reiterated, as he arrived at Guaicaipuro Fort in Miranda State.

The main focus of these drills is to prepare for air raids.

Because the order of attack by ZOGmerica will more-or-less be a two-punch attack.

  1. Bombing raids to knock out infrastructure, cause chaos
  2. Ground invasion force from Columbia

The only possible hiccup that American troops might encounter is the presence of Russian S-300s. There will probably be an effort by American special forces to take out these systems before the actual bombing starts – otherwise, there’ll be dead US pilots and hell to pay at home.

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Guaido, who proclaimed himself ‘interim president’ of Venezuela in January and got the immediate blessing of the United States and its allies in Europe and across Latin America, did not rule out that he might have to make a “controversial” decision to “authorize” a “humanitarian” intervention. The Trump administration also said all options remain on the table to rid Venezuelans of the “oppressive dictator” Maduro.

Yes, you read that right. A literal nobody from South America with gay-pedo face says he might authorize an American invasion. I don’t know why the Founders forgot to add a clause stating that it’s okay for some gay, brown foreigner to order the US Army to attack a sovereign nation, but thank God that we’ve collectively decided as a nation that this is normal and okay and totally Constitutional.

But let’s not get too hyped here.

The Venezuelan military is large, but mostly made up of poor Indio types who are probably not particularly good fighters.

High marks for team spirit though.

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You’ll probably see lots of Cubans fulfilling the role that Hezbollah filled in Syria – doing the heavy-lifting – because most of Assad’s inept Arab army couldn’t hold a candle to the Chechens and Afghanis in ISIS and Al-Qaeda.

The Columbians will be better equipped and better trained. They’ll have special forces embedded with them as well as private mercenary companies providing support.

In other words, Maduro’s got his work cut out for him. 

Meanwhile, I am hoping and praying for an IRL repeat of that Call of Duty favela mission.

Dual-wielding uzis and blasting baddies through corrugated metal sheet walls would be fun AF.

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But I don’t think that the Venezuelans have much of a chance. They don’t have experience in urban warfare.

That being said…

Maybe Maduro’s got a secret weapon lurking in the jungle. 

Just waiting for the American Special Forces to wander into its lair…

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