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Europe’s Yeltsin Will Help the South Rise Again

Jean-Claude Juncker should not be allowed to talk to people with microphones

This post first appeared on Russia Insider

EU president Jean-Claude Juncker has pledged to help American states secede from the Union, in retaliation for Donald Trump's public/Twitter statements about Brexit. 

What is he going to do — send Robert E. Lee some Luxembourgish chocolate? It's the thought that counts, we suppose. 

<figcaption>The South will rise again now that they have a secret weapon: an idiot from Luxembourg</figcaption>
The South will rise again now that they have a secret weapon: an idiot from Luxembourg

Speaking at a conference for weirdos in Malta, Juncker exclaimed

"The newly elected US president was happy that the Brexit was taking place and has asked other countries to do the same," European Commission president Jean-Claude Juncker said. However, he warned, "if he goes on like that I am going to promote the independence of Ohio and Austin, Texas, in the United States of America."

This is why Luxembourg is small and irrelevant. Geostrategic thought is not their specialty. 

Yes, Donald Trump has never hidden his support for Brexit. (In fairness, sometimes Donald expresses his enthusiasm for Brexit in not very intelligent ways.)

Every time Putin sneezes facing westward, another EU member claims that Russia tried to destroy its democracy — so we suppose a strong argument can be made that Trump's statements regarding Brexit could be considered "American meddling" in European affairs.

But truthfully, his remarks on this issue haven't been particularly extreme. For example:

“I think the migration has been a horrible thing for Europe,” Trump told Fox News late on Thursday. “A lot of that was pushed by the EU. I would say that they’re better off without it, personally, but I’m not making that as a recommendation. Just my feeling.”

The European Union is a cesspool of "feelings". But some feelings are prohibited. 

Juncker really is Europe's Boris Yeltsin. 


C'mon, Jean-Claude. Give us your best rebel yell. (Are you allowed to yell in Luxembourg?)


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