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ISIS Caliph al-Baghdadi Magically Evades US Bombs — Again

Al-Baghdadi has more lives than a feral cat. And he also has a magical ability to sense incoming U.S. airstrikes

This post first appeared on Russia Insider

"U.S. and Iraqi officials believe the leader of Islamic State, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, has left operational commanders behind with diehard followers to fight the battle of Mosul, and is now hiding out in the desert," according to Reuters.

The report adds that it's "impossible to confirm the whereabouts" of al-Baghdadi but "intelligence sources point to a sharp drop in Islamic State postings on social media as evidence that Baghdadi and his circle have become increasingly isolated."

<figcaption>Perfect timing. Again.</figcaption>
Perfect timing. Again.

In other words: The CIA has a global covert surveillance and hacking program, but the best intel they have on al-Baghdadi comes from Tumblr. That's reassuring.

However, we must admit that we are having a hard time keeping this story straight.

We thought al-Baghdadi was a non-entity at this point? Sort of like when Americans got bored of reading about the hunt for Osama — he just sort of vanished into obscurity and non-importance:

You have to admire al-Baghdadi. He has more lives than a feral cat. And he also has a magical ability to sense incoming U.S. airstrikes.

He was briefly declared dead in October, 2015.

And who could forget al-Baghdadi's most recent triumph, when he miraculously escaped a U.S. airstrike "at the last moment"?

Or the fact that Mohammad al-Adnani, ISIS’ main propaganda officer, was killed — and then replaced by Tajik Special Forces colonel Gulmurod Khalimov, who had been trained by American advisors, and had even visited the United States several times specifically for counter-terrorism training by the U.S. State Department’s Diplomatic Security/Anti-Terrorism Assistance program?

Or the old classic, "Al Qaeda No. 3 Killed For Ten-Millionth Time"?

Of course, it's important to remember that Abu Bakr's predecessor, "Abu Omar al-Baghdadi", never actually existed, according to the New York Times. So who knows? Maybe billions of dollars are being stolen from the American people — so that the Pentagon can chase a hologram.

It wouldn't be the first time.

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