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Humorless Oafs at CNN Can't Take a Joke

CNN has a zero tolerance policy when it comes to lighthearted, harmless quips. Ask Bernie Sanders if you don't believe us.

This post first appeared on Russia Insider

Let's be clear: You will never find a perfect news outlet. Even when undertaken by honest people with good intentions, journalism is always messy.

No one is exempt from this inconvenient reality, except of course for your beloved Russia Insider, which is an impeccable publication that never prints a single typo or grammatical error and always gets every story 100% correct 100% of the time. This is self-evident and irrefutable. But we digress.

<figcaption>Blitzer knows</figcaption>
Blitzer knows

We live in the "best of all possible worlds", or so they say. But there is one indiscretion which we simply cannot tolerate or forgive: Being a humorless oaf who sucks the fun out of life. 

The inability to take a joke — especially at your own expense — is deadly. It destroys entire civilizations. If your very own Russia Insider ruled the world, all such people would be deported to the nearest gulag immediately.

And CNN would be the first to go.

Of course, before boarding the gulag train, CNN would be entitled to a 2-minute "trial". And this is the evidence — documenting how CNN cut its feed with Bernie Sanders because he simply said in a very lighthearted, perhaps even sarcastic way, that CNN was "fake news" — that would be presented to the stacked jury (meaning us, of course):

You know what the worst part of this is? Sanders was almost certainly mocking Trump and the phenomenon of screaming "fake news!" at mainstream outlets. And CNN still cut his feed. Why? Because they're humorless oafs who will probably suffer from serious heart conditions later in life due to hyper-stress and pathological idiocy.

Doesn't this also show the creeping extremism in our political discourse? Anything that can be even interpreted as an affront to The Narrative must be silenced. Immediately. Especially if it's humorous. Humor is the enemy.

It's really shows a lack of character that CNN can't take a joke, especially when they broadcast so many funny jokes every single day:

It's okay, CNN. You can grow turnips with Hillary Clinton in Siberia. We have plenty of room.

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