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'Small Hands' Trump Drops Giant Explosive Dong on Afghanistan

The US probably has no idea who or how many it killed with the massive mamma bomb it dropped on Afghanistan. But at least Trump feels better about his "small hands"

This post first appeared on Russia Insider

Chinese state media was clearly onto something when it called Trump's Syria strike "the act of a weakened politician who needed to flex his muscles".

So imagine our total lack of surprise when Trump decided to drop an enormous explosive cylinder with a pointy top on Afghanistan. (Edit: Yes, we know that it was actually some wacko US general who ordered the dong-dropping; that's even more terrifying though. It also doesn't mesh well with our jokes.)

<figcaption>Paging Dr. Freud, Paging Dr. Freud</figcaption>
Paging Dr. Freud, Paging Dr. Freud

Paging Dr. Freud.

We'll let US Central Command set the scene:

U.S. Forces - Afghanistan conducted a strike on an ISIS-K tunnel complex in Achin district, Nangarhar province, Afghanistan, as part of ongoing efforts to defeat ISIS-K in Afghanistan in 2017.

The strike used a GBU-43 bomb dropped from a U.S. aircraft. The strike was designed to minimize the risk to Afghan and U.S. Forces conducting clearing operations in the area while maximizing the destruction of ISIS-K fighters and facilities.

U.S. Forces took every precaution to avoid civilian casualties with this strike. U.S. Forces  will continue offensive operations until ISIS-K is destroyed in Afghanistan.

Except they either have no idea who (or how many) they vaporized, or are too ashamed to make this information public to the taxpayers who paid for Trump's dong therapy:



The best part? Those devious ISIS tunnels were almost certainly paid for by the good ol' USA.

Taxpayer money builds it, then taxpayer money destroys it. What a racket:


How can we say this while keeping our family-friendly website PG-13? Trump is a bit insecure about the size of his "missile". 

What a weirdo. 


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