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Damn! Putin's Outwitted Us Again!

Overheard at 10 Downing Street

Our London Correspondent


  • Sir, Putin's on the phone and says he has the black box from the Russian plane the Turks shot down and wants us to send some experts to be present at the opening and decoding.

  • Damn! They weren't supposed to ever find it! Well, we're not falling for that!

  • But Sir, it would look as if we knew the Turks were lying if we refused.

  • Damn! Can we send experts who say the box is fake?

  • But supposing it isn't fake and shows the Russian plane was nowhere near Turkish airspace, then what?

  • Have you spoken to my bro?

  • We tried to, but nobody knows where he is.

  • Damn! He's never available. Tell them to look in the bowling alley or the basketball court.

  • I did, they can't find him there.

  • Has Putin asked anybody else?

  • I don't know, he hasn't said.

  • Damn! I'll bet he has.

  • Probably, he's pretty clever.

  • Well, couldn't we tell our experts to say that the box is a fake and that it does show that the Russians violated Turkey's airspace?

  • That could work.

  • OK, we'll take a chance, I'll tell him we'll send somebody, and you make sure he knows to say that the box is a fake and that it shows the Russians did violate Turkish airspace.

  • But suppose the other people he gets contradict that?

  • No problem, thank heavens we have a free press here and no one will ever find out. It'll be MH17 all over again!