If you want to fathom Russian women you should read Dostoyevsky and Tolstoy. However, you may not have time before your first date to check out at the library. That is why we're here to provide you with some advices on how to successfully court a Russian woman
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All women in Russia are young women!
Never-ever adress a woman with «woman» (zhentshina), «girl» (devotshka) or «baby». Even if your beloved is closer to her 50s than her 40s, she's a «young woman» to you (devoushka). Any other form of adress is not only going to confuse her, but rather even offend her.
Always pay for dinner and drinks on a date!
It's easy — your female companion is always expecting you to pay for dinner and drinks. Even if it was her invinting you. Even, if you've ordered only one cup of tea and she chose five main courses with a dessert. It is common in New York or Paris to split the bill, however in Moscow ladies see this as an act of tight-fistedness. A stylish «devoushka» may reach out to her handbag with the intention to contribute to the bill, but this is only for show. Don't be fooled!
Carry her shopping bags!
Feminism is nice and decent, but it's usually left back at home, whenever «devouski» go to the supermarket. If there's two bags, a small and a large one, lying in front of you at the cash desk, then you totally should take both. If then your female companion is carrying only her handbag, then you've done everything right.
Russian women value a courteous attitude much more than their western colleagues and their expectations of you are even higher. Open the car's door, help her with her coat, leave her go first through doors, to name but a few tricks how to earn her sympathy. There is, however, one special rule you should ultimatively keep in mind — never let a lady to go ahead, when it's an elevator, for if the elevator isn't there at all you would save her from falling into the hoistway.
Let flowers speak for youself!
Flowers are always well receipted, but there's another special rule. A bouquet has to consist only of an uneven number of flowers. Even numers are for funerals. Nevertheless, this may be disregarded, when there's a bunch of more than 10 flowers. It's easy — just buy an uneven amount of flowers, or take so many, that she simply won't be able to count them in an instant.
Wait for her!
There is an unwritten law, that states, that women have the right to be late. She's right on time, if she arrives 10 or 15 minutes later, than it has been appointed. There may be reasons for being late — traffic jams, official meetings, even indecisiveness on whether her shoes really fit her dress. It may even be amusing — the lady could have been there right on time, but she preferred to wait another 20 minutes somewhere behind the corner in order not to make you think she's curry favouring you. Young ladies have to know their own worth and never be right on time — this is something even her mother has been teaching her. Defer of asking for the reason of her being late — this is useless and even improper. Just keep smiling and tell her you're happy to see her, even if it's already dark and if you're feeling cold for a long time already.
«It's okay» (vsyo normalno) — this is something no guide can help you with. For hundreds of years Russian men have attempted to fathom a womans' thoughts, whenever she's mentioning something like this, with no success at all. Does this imply there's no need to worry? Or should you already be on your way bying chocolates and flowers? If the latter applies — what was it, that caused her displeasure? Understanding can be only reached on the way of countless attempts and even more mistakes. There's no alternative. And even such an approach isn't reliable. There's even a popular joke among Russian men concerning this matter: «Are you mad?». «No». «Very mad?». «Yes».
Actually, this guide may be continued even further, but this would deprive you of the thrills of trying to establish common language with a Russian woman. And the thrill is absolutely going to be there. Still, if fear is something you don't know and if you've decided to marry her, you should definitely read Tolstoy and Dostoyevsky. This is gonna prove useful.
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Source: Russia Beyond the Headlines
This post first appeared on Russia Insider
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