You don't know what's going to happen, but you know who Washington is going to blame
This article originally appeared at CounterPunch
January 25: 467 people reported missing from a university in Mexico. US State Department blames Russia.
February 1: Military junta overthrows President Nicolás Maduro in Venezuela. Washington decries the loss of democracy.
February 2: US recognizes the new Venezuelan military junta, offers it 50 jet fighters and tanks.
February 3: Revolution breaks out in Venezuela endangering the military junta; 40,000 American marines land in Caracas to quell the uprising.
February 16: White police officer in Chicago fatally shoots a 6-year old black boy holding a toy gun.
March 6: Congress passes a new law which states that to become president of the United States a person must have the surname Bush or Clinton.
April 30: The Department of Homeland Security announces plan to record the DNA at birth of every child born in the United States.
May 19: The Supreme Court rules that police may search anyone if they have reasonable grounds for believing that the person has pockets.
May 27: The Transportation Security Administration declares that all airline passengers must strip completely nude at check-in and remain thus until arriving at their destination.
June 6: White police officer in Oklahoma City tasers a 7-month-old black child, claiming the child was holding a gun; the gun turns out to be a rattle.
July 19: Two subway trains collide in Manhattan. The United States demands that Moscow explain why there was a Russian citizen in each of the trains.
September 5: The Democratic Party changes its name to the Republican Lite Party, and announces the opening of a joint bank account with the Republican Party so that corporate lobbyists need make out only one check.
September 12: White police officer in Alabama shoots black newborn, confusing the umbilical cord for a noose.
November 16: President Obama announces that Iran, Syria, Lebanon, Palestine, North Korea, Sudan, Nicaragua, Venezuela, Bolivia and Cuba all possess weapons of mass destruction; have close ties to the Islamic State, al Qaeda, and the Taliban; are aiding pro-Russian rebels in Ukraine; were involved in 9-11; played a role in the assassination of John F. Kennedy and the attack on Pearl Harbor; are an imminent threat to the United States and all that is decent and holy; and are all “really bad guys”, who even (choke, gasp) use torture!
November 21: The United States invades Iran, Syria, Lebanon, Palestine, North Korea, Sudan, Nicaragua, Venezuela, Bolivia and Cuba.
December 10: Barack Obama is awarded his second Nobel Peace Prize
December 11: To celebrate his new peace prize, Obama sends out drones to assassinate wrong-thinking individuals in Somalia, Afghanistan and Yemen.
December 13: Members of Ukraine’s neo-Nazi parties, which hold several high positions in the US-supported government, goose-step through the center of Kiev in full German Storm Trooper uniforms, carrying giant swastika flags, shouting “Heil Hitler”, and singing the Horst Wessel song. Not a word of this appears in any American mainstream media.
December 15: US Secretary of State warns Russia to stop meddling in Ukraine, accusing Moscow of wanting to re-create the Soviet Union.
December 16: White police officer shoots a black 98-year-old man sitting in a wheel chair, claiming the man pointed a rifle at him. The rifle turns out to be a cane.
December 28: The Washington Redskins football team finish their season in last place. The White House blames Vladimir Putin.
William Blum is the author of Killing Hope: U.S. Military and CIA Interventions Since World War II, Rogue State: a guide to the World’s Only Super Power . His latest book is: America’s Deadliest Export: Democracy.