Tillerson Forced to Clarify US Policy (Again) After Nikki Haley Demands North Korean Pancakes

America's ascendant Waffle House waitress strikes again

Wed, Aug 2, 2017
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Haley: "We're done talking!"; Tillerson: "No we're not."
Haley: "We're done talking!"; Tillerson: "No we're not."

Like the ocean's tides, Nikki Haley's Twitter feed goes through peculiar phases that are impossible to explain.

She'll spend an entire week posting dainty family photos and inspirational quotes from Bridget Jones's Diary, and then, seemingly out of nowhere, Nikki will announce her own foreign policy and demand immediate action against Russia, Iran, Syria, Venezuela, North Korea and probably other countries too if she knew that other countries existed.

Haley was previously reprimanded for announcing on television that the United States was seeking regime change in Syria at the exact same time that her supposed boss, Rex Tillerson, was telling the press the exact opposite. 

But it appears Nikki is still struggling to control her passion for unnecessary, inaccurate statements that will probably get us all killed. For example, here is her latest Security Council statement about North Korea:

Yes, America is taking a stand against North Korea: "The time for talk is over". Bold. Decisive. Suicidal. This is the Nikki Haley that everyone knows and despises. 

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Is the time for talk "over", though? Not according to the Secretary of State, who made the exact opposite claim a day later because he probably realizes what "the time for talk is over" would actually mean:

Washington does not seek regime change in North Korea and at some point would like to have a dialogue with Pyongyang to de-escalate the tensions on the peninsula, US Secretary of State Rex Tillerson has said.

“We do not seek a regime change; we do not seek the collapse of the regime; we do not seek an accelerated reunification of the peninsula; we do not seek an excuse to send our military north of the 38th parallel,” Tillerson told reporters Tuesday in Washington DC.

[...]

We would like to sit and have a dialogue with them about the future that will give them the security they seek and the future economic prosperity for North Korea,” Tillerson said.

In Charlotte Brontë's 1847 novel Jane Eyre, Edward Rochester locks his violently insane wife in the attic of his fancy mansion and keeps her there forever. And everyone lives happily ever after.

Doesn't Tillerson read the classics?