Putin Secretly Behind Every Terrorist Attack in Russia, Suggests Newsweek

Years from now, historians will look back on 2017 and then drink heavily

Tue, Apr 4, 2017
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Newsweek wins. 

Yes, we know that the BBC and other bastions of responsible journalism have come out in support of baseless conspiracy theories involving Putin nail-bombing his own mother to consolidate power

But Newsweek takes the unhinged baloney cake. 

There's really no disputing this. It's a simple fact.

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Check out the Pulitzer Prize-winning video that Newsweek masterfully put together:

The best part is the soundtrack that Newsweek chose to accompany their incredible achievement in internet journalism. Make sure to crank your stereo system to experience maximum listening pleasure:

Yes, that's the actual music they used for their "Put did it" video. 

Newsweek then provides its vegetable-readership (people high on Oxycontin trapped in the dentist's waiting room) with a long list of terrorist acts committed against Russia, with the disclaimer:

Putin has often responded to such incidents by expanding the powers of the presidency and the capabilities of intelligence services.

Here are some of the terrorist attacks that Putin is secretly behind and/or "took advantage" of, according to Newsweek:

December 2013: Two consecutive suicide bombing attacks killed at least 3o after detonating in the city of Volgograd, weeks before the nation was scheduled to host the 2014 Winter Olympics.

October 2015: In an attack later claimed by ISIS, a Russian Airbus A321 exploded in mid-flight after departing from Egypt, killing 224 people.

December 2016: A Russian flight traveling to Syria crashed into the Black Sea near Sochi, killing all 92 on board. A number of passengers were members of the Red Army choir scheduled to perform a New Year's concert in Syria. While no signs of an explosive had were found by authorities, a terror motive has not been ruled out by authorities and the investigation has been ongoing. 

Yeah, Putin's a real judo master — blowing up the Red Army Choir was an 11-dimensional chess move.

Years from now, historians will look back on 2017 and then drink heavily.

 

 

"So it goes".

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