Latest Outrage: Putin Refuses to Judo-Duel Blogger

Why is the president of the world's largest country ignoring a judo challenge issued by a "Twitter celebrity"?

Wed, Jul 19, 2017
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3,347Comments
Putin only spars with children. (Proof.)
Putin only spars with children. (Proof.)

Vladimir Putin is a coward and a phony, according to a blogger who challenged Russia's president to a judo duel-to-the-death more than two years ago and still hasn't received a reply

Benjamin Wittes, a very important blogger who owns a blog (did we mention that he blogs?), is convinced that Putin is too afraid to spar with a real judo master.

Via our favorite website, The Independent:

Wittes issued the initial challenge in fall 2015, at a time when Lawfare was still a relatively small, wonkish expert blog that catered mostly to national security insiders. In the nearly two years since, Lawfare has surged in popularity, breaking stories about the investigations into Russian meddling in the 2016 election and running unforgiving commentary about the Trump administration. Wittes himself has turned into something of a Twitter celebrity ... Riding the new wave of popularity, Wittes called out Putin again over the weekend, tweeting a link to his original posts about the hypothetical fight. “Got to be ready for the day when the Kremlin finally calls,” he said.

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Yeah, why can't Putin squeeze time into his nearly empty schedule to karate-punch a "Twitter celebrity"? There's obviously only one good reason: Putin is a judo fraud because his sparring partners let him win

According to Wittes, Putin's televised judo moves are publicity stunts. Imagine! World leaders participating in everyday activities in an attempt to show that they aren't robots? Who would be so shallow? 

At least Putin knows judo. Hillary Clinton can't even properly pour a beer for the cameras.

 

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Hillary Clinton "drinking beer"
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John Kerry "hunting"
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Barack Obama reminding the American electorate that he's half white

 

While we are disappointed (but not surprised) that the Independent wrote an entire article about a blogger wanting to get physical with Putin, we begrudgingly admit that Wittes has milked this publicity stunt with great success. 

If the Putin thing doesn't work out, maybe Wittes can go hunting with Dick Cheney instead?

 

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