Nobody Knows Why US Bombs Kill So Many Civilians, Insists Famous Liberal Cesspool

We thought it was because the U.S. has so much practice?

Wed, Mar 29, 2017
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This is a tough one. Put on your thinking caps.
This is a tough one. Put on your thinking caps.

"It’s difficult to pinpoint patterns in the cause of civilian deaths over so short a period of time, and there could be other explanations that emerge for why they’ve spiked so sharply," writes the deep thinkers at Vox, after pondering for many minutes the possible reasons why dropping bombs on cities kills people. 

Don't worry, though. The New York Times reports that the Pentagon is investigating itself for killing 200 people; and while there's a "fair chance" that the U.S. murdered a few-hundred-or-so (what's the difference?) civilians in Mosul on March 17, everyone agrees that the Pentagon's rules of engagement are "good" and need not be changed. 

Actually, we're amazed that Washington isn't using an old trick from its NATO playbook in Libya: "Only a death that NATO itself investigated and corroborated could be called confirmed. But because the alliance declined to investigate allegations, its casualty tally by definition could not budge–from zero." Problem solved!

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The best part? Not being able to figure out why U.S. airstrikes are killing people is a "trending topic". Apparently thousands of Americans are desperately trying to crack this enigma. 

It's not Fermat's last theorem, people. We're talking about the United States Air Force, which has more practice bombing civilians than any other military force in human history. 

 

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