The Litvinenko Plot Revealed At Last!

Conversation overheard in the Kremlin in 2006

Fri, Jan 22, 2016
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Our source in the Kremlin

-- So, I want this guy Litvinenko taken out; make him go away; as my hero Stalin said: no man, no problem.

-- OK Boss, we'll use some of those super-secret poisons we developed in the Good Old Days and he'll just suddenly fall over dead.

-- Nah... that's too boring.

-- OK Boss, no problem. We'll stage a hit-and-run accident.

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-- That's not complicated enough.

-- OK Boss, how about he's stabbed in a mugging?

-- No, that's just too... I dunno...

-- Beaten to death in a house break in?

-- No....

-- Falls into the Thames and drowns? Disappears and is never heard from again? Drive-by shooting? Car accident? Terrorist bomb?

-- Nah... I want something more... more.. elaborate.

[Long Pause]

-- Boss! I got it! I got it! We'll get some polonium and we'll give it to a bunch of our trained killers who'll take it to London, contaminating the plane, airport lounges and half the restaurants and bars in London and then we'll slip it into his tea in a public place and he'll die.

-- Any chance we'll be suspected?

-- No way, Boss, no one would ever think we'd whack him out in such an elaborate and incompetent way.

 

 

 

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