God Commands Tony Blair to Lead Peasants' Revolt Against Democratic Referendum
Tony Blair urges the peasants to "rise up" and overturn a democratic referendum. Because he's Tony Blair and his will shall be done, Amen.
Brexit. It's so sinful and evil that anyone who voted for it will almost certainly burn in the 10th circle of hell. (Dante didn't know there was 10 circles in hell, because he didn't know about Brexit.)
Luckily there is a man — no, a hero — called Tony Blair, who has been anointed by Lord God himself to lead the people of Britain in an open revolt against the tyranny of "democratic referendums."
Our friends at the Telegraph have the details:
In a keynote speech, Mr Blair urged Remain voters to "rise up" against the Government's drive for Brexit, which will cause "real damage" to Britain and the embitterment of future generations.
Speaking at the headquarters of the Bloomberg financial news agency in London where David Cameron first set out his plan for an in/out vote on Britain's EU membership, he issued a rallying cry against the referendum vote which was "based on imperfect knowledge".
Didn't Tony Blair's last self-appointed crusade involve solving the Israel-Palestine conflict? Or was that Bono? Anyway, we're sure he did a great job with whatever he was doing before this.
Tony Blair is a sad potato who should be forever chained to a pillory and mercilessly assaulted with amputated, gangrenous Iraqi limbs until he dies of shame. Mostly because he's a pompous war criminal who deserves to die.
But for anyone who still believes that Brexit is a sinister Putin plot — follow Tony Blair! He has never led the herd astray! Amen.